Sunday, October 22, 2017

Discover-Five Minute Friday

I began thinking of this late last night and what I have discovered in over four decades on the planet. There have been so many tokens and lessons through the years, but this morning I felt more inclined to write about my singleness.


discover

Discover is defined as finding something or someone unexpectedly in the course of a search.

In my search of "Mr. Right" through the years I have found myself single for a really long time.

I discovered that I have developed deeper friendships with some for over twenty years that some marrieds don't even enjoy with their spouses or others.

I discovered some I know would become widows in their thirties or forties and I would be reminded of my relationship with God to be the only one without a good-bye forever.

I discovered in my late twenties I couldn't make a guy like or fall in love with me. When someone doesn't it really is OK! There are other people who do like me and love to have me around.

I discovered years after the ones I hoped would work out and didn't, that it was really God's protection. I would've been miserable as we were so not a good match. Being single is far better than being in a miserable marriage.

STOP

Ran out of time, but wanted to add............

I've discovered from watching and listening to others that both marriage and singleness are hard, just in different ways. God told us we would have trouble in this world. Sometimes when you're married there is even more drama to deal with. I am reminded to ask myself, "What and how much do I want to deal with?".

I also discovered that in not having children of my own to read stories to at night and tuck into bed or bake cookies with and build snowmen on cold, winter days, that I am so thankful for the children in my class every year. We have baked banana bread and pizza. We always read lots of stories together. When snow arrives, we go out to the playground to develop our vocabulary and sequencing skills used in building snowmen.

A few have remarked to me over the years, "You're so lucky you don't have kids." or "You smart lady, you!", but I do not see myself as either of those. I have carried a hole in my heart for decades now which causes me to be more appreciative of the students I so enjoy. Hopefully, they know how much they are valued and loved.

Finally, I've discovered that the moments of loneliness have been tolerable. It's not the end of the world, but I know what it's like to eat alone day after day after day. I reach out more now to people who have experienced the same. I always look forward to sharing meals with some very dear and lovely ladies I know whenever I can.

Perhaps a "Mr. Right" will still come along. Perhaps not. All I know is I get to choose how I will live today. God is the one I come back to day after day.

Matthew 28:20 "Teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

To see what others have discovered check out www.fiveminutefriday.com

8 comments:

  1. Leigh, what a great reminder! No matter what part of life someone is in, it can all be hard. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost three and a half years now. He's a preacher, and he's God's perfect match for me. I have many friends who struggle with being single, but sometimes being in a relationship is just as hard! If not even harder! Thanks for the encouragement.

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    1. I hope your single friends can find ways to enjoy the time they have and make the most of it. There is no telling when we run out of time.

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  2. Thank you for this reflection. I think that whether married or single there are challenges that only God can sustain through. I too made a difficult decision on a relationship when it would have been detrimental in both our lives. It is hard but I am thankful He sustains.

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  3. Leigh, this honest and straightforward essay is a blessing to single women...and men.

    And married people, too. Thank you so much for writing it!

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    1. I'm glad to know it is a blessing. I have wanted the lessons I've learned to be shared and encourage others. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  4. I learned these same lessons as I waited for my husband. He came around when I was 28 and it has been a beautiful marriage of 28 years now. Wow! typing that makes me realize that I have now been married half of my life!
    BTW: I do have two available sons. :)

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    1. Thank you for your comments. I'm glad you have enjoyed such a beautiful marriage. I imagine your sons are much younger than I, but you can always invite one of them to check out my blog. Blessings to you!

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