In the Midst of the Storm

By late morning I heard wheels spinning out in the front yard and then felt my building shake for a few seconds. I bent down to look out my kitchen window and saw a rather tall, middle aged man trying to push his truck out of the mud. He was driving across the lawn and got stuck. "Why is he driving across the lawn?" I wondered aloud. The curiosity drove me to investigate closer. So I grabbed my keys, slipped on my pink crocs and headed down and out into Hurricane Irene. I walked down and to the left and saw almost two feet of water covering the parking lot. "Agh!! Oh, my God!" I gasped. The parking lot was quickly filling. I rushed over, got inside and started my Escape hoping I could some how drive it out before it got worse. There was a black sedan to the left of me, so I could not turn left to pull up onto the pavement and drive over the lawn as the truck did.

By this time the man from the truck and our superintendent were out there. The young girl from upstairs came down to get her vehicle out as well. They began to push her silver toyota up onto the black top path while she steered. They saw me backing up and one called to me, "Don't back up, the exhaust will go under." I stopped. Again and again I blurted aloud, God help me! I don't know what to do!" The guys were able to push the toyota all the way up and the young girl drove across the lawn. I slightly hit the gas and my Escape pulled forward and along side the building as I steered right. All I could see was water surrounding everything. I paused for a second wondering if I should park there as the water was not as deep, but I needed to get out of the parking lot. There was no telling when the water would stop rising or the rain would let up. I continued to steer right hoping to drive up the hill and get out. It stalled and I began to sense the water moving the vehicle. It began to seep in through the edges of the doors and fill the bottom. I was stuck. My vehicle was stuck and I was trapped! "Jesus help me!" I screamed over and over with tears streaming down my face as I panicked. I pushed on my door and it would not open. I began to grab what I could-CD's, first aid kit and insurance papers. The water was now up to my ankles. I rolled down the passenger side window and yelled to the guys on the path, "Help me! I need help." They waded across the three feet of water. When they reached me, the taller guy said, "Put it in neutral." I grabbed the shift and began to pull hard, but it would not move. "I don't know what to do!" I blurted aloud. By now he could see it was in park and said, "Leave it." I pushed on the passenger's side door and it opened. More water came flooding in. With a few items clutched in my left arm, the superintendent reached out his hand to grab my right one and helped me step out. The cold water began to soak the bottom of my gray gym shorts. I stepped away from the vehicle while pushing the door closed.
Pushing one foot in front of the other, I followed the two men as we waded through the flooded parking lot onto the blacktop path. "Thank you for helping," I cried.

The rain continued to pour down drenching my black t-shirt and hair. I began to shiver from the cold air and sheer terror of being engulfed by so much water. I gazed in disbelief at my white escape submerged by more than three feet of water. This was the kind of stuff I've seen on television so many times, not in my own parking lot. I turned away and stammered up to my apartment. What else could I do?

Oh, How They Love!

I'm somewhat torn this evening. I've not had much time to write this month, but have been inspired a few times through God's own amazing creatures. The question for me is which vignette do I share? Perhaps I can bring them together in one piece as a testimony of the great beauty and love that exists in this precious Earth entrusted to us.

With temperatures dropping into the sixties this evening, I ventured out with my friend, Patti to stroll through some of the gardens at a nearby mansion. Brightly colored roses, zinnias, marigolds amongst numerous species of plants decorated the grounds. The air was crisp and dry. "Oh, these are just gorgeous!" Patti exclaimed.

"Look at these. I never knew marigolds could get that big!" I added with delight. We continued to "Ooo!" and "Ahhh!" for another ten minutes before exiting through the gate and returning to the paved road. Canadian geese were scattered everywhere while grazing. "I think they look so elegant with their markings. They're very striking," I remarked.

Patti agreed, "They are."

"Earlier when I went to see my friend Keith I noticed two by the pond near his apartment and one had something wrong with its wing. It was sticking out oddly, but not moving it. Its mate was right beside it. It reminded me of the two drakes and lame hen that visited my sister's yard for bird seed. The drakes would hover around her, keeping watch while she had her fill. My mom told me they will be with her for life," I shared. I could tell by Patti's heartfelt expression that she was equally touched by the example of love and loyalty shown. These creatures don't leave their wounded trailing behind. There is no such concept of survival of the fittest in their repertoire. Which brings me to another amazing creature, the horse.

This past year I read a book entitled, "Hope Rising" by Kim Meeder. For over twenty five years she has been rescuing abused and neglected horses while inviting children and their families that have been equally beat up to come and enjoy learning to care for these animals and how to ride them. The collection of anecdotes inspired me to learn about these massive gentle giants and take some riding lessons from a well respected teacher and trainer nearby.

Three lessons into it and I am hooked! Superstar, a ten year old dark Gelding is still being rehabilitated. When Amy, my instructor got him from the auction he was poorly nourished with scrapes on his face and back. He was on his way to slaughter, but she bought him this past February at the auction. Now I, along with other novices, get to ride him.

Before my riding lesson begins, I spend time grooming him before tacking him up. This past Wednesday, I led him out of his stall for the very first time. He patiently stood in place as I groomed him. His brown eyes were soft and curious. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes while sniffing. I fed him a few carrots and proceeded to brush the side of his neck with the grooming brush. He stood in place without twitching or stomping. I can only gather he enjoyed this part of our time together. When I finished, his dark coat shone brightly and felt as soft as silk. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rubbed my face against his freshly brushed fur while hugging him. He just stood there, letting me embrace him while stroking his black mane.

During the lesson, he walked when I told him to walk and trotted when I told him to trot with only a slight nudge of my heels. Up, down, up, down, I posted around the arena. One time, then a second and finally a third time we circled around the indoor arena. After each lap, all I had to do was say, "Hoe." and he would come to a gentle stop. I did not have to pull back on the reigns at all. Gently and obediently he did whatever I asked.

Amy, my instructor, said, "His mouth is like butter." Nobody knows what he endured or enjoyed before Amy brought him to her barn. However, there's no doubt he is grateful for the care and attention he receives now. He will lovingly follow Amy around the arena unless I steer him otherwise.

Somehow, three ducks, some geese and one rescued Gelding have all touched me through their testimonies of love, loyalty, and endurance. Life has been anything but kind to these creatures and yet they forge onwards and upwards, doing only that which they know how to do. Loving each other and responding to the love shown to them with infinite loyalty.

I've often wondered, "If animals could talk like people do and voice their opinions, what would they say?". Now I don't have to wonder. Their actions say it all-"This is how I love thee in spirit and in truth, standing and walking beside thee in obedience and gratitude."

The Rain

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Again I say rejoice!
The sudden coolness of earth and sky
Heavens gates finally open wide

I open all my windows
Soft breezes blow
The scent of dampness comes right in
Skies flood, pouring down with rain
I hear shh, shhh, shhh all afternoon

Raindrops frolick everywhere
pouring, dancing, rejoicing, refreshing
I marvel at their beauty
Silver beads from heaven
Hydrogen and oxygen combined
Rained down in celebration
A gift freely and abundantly given

Why, oh why?
Then I listened
Birds sang and car tires played
tweet, tweet, swish, swish
Burnt grass and cracked dirt swallowed
Gulp, gulp, gulp
Shrubbery and flowers perked up with a smile
Bing, bing, bing
Creeks outside rustled and streamed
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
Everything breathed a sigh of relief
The balls of refreshment only giggled
Hee, hee, hee

I peered closer at the drops on my window
Then I realized they live to die
Sent freely from heaven above
Everything, everywhere sucks them up
Slurp, slurp, slurp
They cry aloud
"We cleanse, we decorate, we nourish all life!"

Earth abounds while they dissolve
Their remnants only vaporize
Back to the heavens
Saved for another day
A day when we'll cry,
"Rain! Rain! Come back and play!"

Rain invites and appeals
Join us! Join us!
Refresh and rejoice!"
I wonder- How? What can I do?
How does anyone refresh and rejoice?
Live and yet die to come back again?
I wonder and ponder
Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm

Amazing and precious
The life all Earth needs
For pleasure and purpose
Rain falling, falling down on me
drip, drip, drip

What She Lives...

Four year old Chris leaned over to kiss his 5 month old sister, Elena and tenderly affirm her. "You're so gorgeous, Elena!", he lovingly repeated over and over as he held her cheeks and rubbed his nose against hers. She clutched his cheeks in return and babbled away as she stared into his eyes. I marveled at the gentleness and genuine affection he showered upon his newest sibling. I could only surmise that surely he saw his mom and dad interact this way. As I sat on the picnic bench holding her on my lap, I asked Chris, "Do you hear your Dad say that to Mommy?"

"No, he just says she's having a good hair day," he retorted back. I looked up to see their mom, Natalie, standing less than a foot away while holding their two year old brother, Nate burst into hysterics with me. "Does he ever say she's having a bad hair day?" I inquired.

"No, he doesn't say that. He just says she's having a good hair day," he answered.

After our snack and walk alongside the lake, Natalie and I secured each of the kids into their car seats and headed back to her house. Nate had instantly fallen asleep once the vehicle was in motion, while Chris stared straight ahead at the highway before us. Elena was quiet for a bit before starting to fuss and then little by little, wail. Poor Chris wasn't sure what to do. I prompted him to hold her hand and try talking to her. He sheepishly gazed at me as if to say, "I'm not sure this is my department." Nevertheless, he complied and gently grasped her hand and began to repeat those tender words of affirmation once again, "Elena, you're gorgeous." Unfortunately, Elena was not comforted by this in the least.

"Sometimes, I've had to pull over to nurse her, but we're almost home so I won't do that. She may have a dirty diaper also. When they're that little there are usually only a few reasons they do that. You just have to troubleshoot," Natalie explained. Amazingly enough, Nate continued to sleep with his head cocked to the left and downward. While after a few mintues of unsuccessful attempts to soothe his sister, Chris turned his gaze towards the front once again. His words and presence seemed to have little effect.

Upon arriving to their home, Elena's sobs finally ceased. I climbed out of the metallic colored SUV's passenger side and opened the back door to see her face streaming with tears. As soon as I unfastened her and lifted her up, she breathed a sigh of relief. Natalie unfastened Nate and hoisted him up onto her shoulder and then reached down to help Chris undo his buckle. We carried the two inside, while Chris trailed behind. Sure enough, Elena's diaper was soaked.

During the ride back to Natalie's, I briefly pondered, "What's the lesson here? Is there one?" We didn't know exactly what was paining Elena so that she began to wail, but after she was lifted up, held and had her soggy wet diaper changed, she was back to feeling and looking oh so gorgeus. It was only moments away, yet for her the time it took to get home and be lifted up and out of her distress, seemed to be an eternity. No doubt, as she grows older, she'll learn what it means to wait and how to do it patiently without crying out in angst. She'll learn and experience plenty of good and bad hair days. However, for right now she is still learning that she is cared for, lifted up, loved and so gorgeous.

Upon reflection, I know some days I'm able to do the lifting up and caring for another. Not only am I able to do it, but I find it to be a pleasure. Yet, I won't deny there are those other days when my heart cries out in angst to be lifted up, nurtured, and told I'm so gorgeous, too. For now, I am still learning not so much what I live as children often do, but how to live inspite of what I've lived and all the bad hair days in between.

Perhaps it even means carefully choosing what I will now accept and grab hold of. Who knows? In turn,I may afford myself some more of those good hair days, knowing I am cared for and circumstance is always subject to change. Perhaps it is time to put childish things away while maintaining the innocence and faith of a child. Perhaps one can live as a child without reason to doubt, but one that gleefully basks in the warmth of surrounding love. Perhaps. Yes, perhaps I'll need to think on it some more.

To the Left or the Right?

"I just wish you guys could get a break. You've had so much over the years with health stuff, one thing after the next," I murmured.

My dad grinned and replied,"Yeah, but I don't see that. God has blessed us so much! When I think of everything He's given us, to have a little of this other stuff, it's OK. Everybody has something. I used to wonder what it would be like if I got cancer and now I have it. I'm OK."

I couldn't really grasp what he was fully saying. I know they have good jobs, a nice home, kids and grandkids, along with great neighbors, but I hate the thought of them having to physically suffer with something else.

Over the years, my mom has had multiple surgeries from her shoulders to her back and down to her knees. My dad broke his back years ago and later had his spine fused. No fun! I remember seeing them move or walk ever so gingerly and their faces grimacing from the pain at times.

However, I never saw them quit or give up on life. In spite of everything they've been through, they have found times to enjoy kayaking, gardening, arts and crafts and lot's of time with their grandkids. They even have a show stopping clown act they do together.

My mom has a pink, shaggy clown wig, while my bald dad wears a rainbow colored curly afro. Both have very stylish red clown shoes and noses. My mom wears a purple jumpsuit with a pink collar and Dad wears black and orange pants with suspenders. She paints faces. He creates animal balloons. Their clown names? Melody and Scrambles.

Moments after my dad's response to my comment, an idea popped into my head. A burst of energy rushed through me as I remembered what a nut he can be. I suggested to him, "Hey, the next time you go for chemo. you should wear your clown wig."

His eyes sparkled and a devilish smile began to shine. He exclaimed, "Oh, that would be hilarious! I could walk in and say-'Hey, look at what you guys did to me! Last week I had no hair and now look at me!" My mom just rolled her eyes when we informed her of the plan. My brother chuckled so hard his eyes began to squint.

And so the fun has begun. The journey marked ahead appears long and somewhat treacherous with corners we can not yet see around. This is the track we are on as a family. To our left is a rather stealth and mountainous diagnosis of Stage 4 cancer. To our right is a cool stream flowing with firmly planted fruit trees and bright yellow sunflowers facing towards the sun. Each friend and family member are like those trees and flowers, providing nourishment, shade and beauty.

It is the strength of such beauty that draws me to peer closer out the window on my right. I can not help but gaze in its direction. I glanced to the mountains across the aisle out the left. Majesty is present there, but the eyes of my heart are magnetized by the steady flow of the crisp, blue stream. Blue monarchs circle above it and the heads of bright, yellow sunflowers are lifted up in the distance. The ride is more than OK. The outpouring of love and support mixed with laughter is nothing short of beautiful.