Wait and See

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord," Proverbs 16:33

Almost every day, my thoughts go back to my new friend. What should I do? What do I want to do? What does God want me to do? I'm not 'twitterpated' as Thumper said to Bambi. There are no fireworks. I am not counting the days til our next meeting, but I do look forward to his calls now and anticipate them.

He is a godly man, one I have come to deeply admire and respect and he likes me. Yes, we've had that conversation and I am not sure what to do with it. There is so much to consider and think about.

He is a good man and one that I have no doubt would make a great partner. He is kind and considerate, loves God, intelligent, hard working, fiscally responsible, gentlemanly, and most of all meek.

Amos 3:3 reads, "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" When two people decide to pursue a relationship deeper, they must be agreed and have a common vision and purpose, otherwise you can have two oxen pulling in different directions and a whole lot of plowing not getting done.

I don't know that he and I are passionate about the same things or feel called to the same things. I don't know that we want the same things out of life.

During this season of autumn when the leaves are changing colors and falling away from the branches, I ponder the question-What does God want me to let go of in relation to this opportunity? My own dreams? My perception of how things must fall into place? Which ideas or endeavors am I to lay aside?

My friendship with him has been pleasant and healing after the last relationship I was in. It is also encouraging to see that there are God fearing men out there who love God, like women, and are available. Yet after praying and talking with friends for advice, I am still not sure what to do at this point other than continue the friendship with him.

For someone like me who likes to know the plan and how to prepare myself, that just hasn't been enough. Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to agree.

Yesterday afternoon, I grabbed the tall stack of square paper notes sitting on the kitchen counter, ripped off 4 sheets and individually wrote out the following options on each sheet: marry, date, remain friends only, or wait and see. I crumbled each one up, tossed them around in a plastic container and said, "Alright, God. I don't know what to do with this situation, what am I supposed to do?" Thus the lot had been cast in a sense.

Are you ready? Can you guess? It was not what I wanted to see, but just like God to do this. I reached in, pulled one out and slowly unfolded the sheet of white paper. It read:

WAIT and SEE

I hate waiting. I don't know anyone who enjoys it, but I am reminded of Philip Yancey's quote, "Faith is proceeding on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance for what will only make sense in reverse."

I don't know what I am going to gain in the end from all this. I do not see the sense in it now and I do not like having to WAIT and SEE.

My mom, Linda laughed when I told her. She knows I want to know where all this is going and what am I to do with it. My friend has been amazingly patient through this and I, too, am being asked to be also.

Eccl. 8:5-6 reads, "..the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him."


So that's it, in a nutshell, for now. I can only hope the time for seeing will be sooner than later, and both of us will be ready to receive what the Lord has for us in this matter.